My Awkward Way of Finding a Connection to my University | Not in Our Town

My Awkward Way of Finding a Connection to my University

I saw how important it was to speak up instead of staying silent when it comes to challenging others. 

by Jenny Huang

When I graduated from high school in Alameda, California, I was the only person from my graduating class of 38 to attend the University of California in Los Angeles. When college started, I saw how diverse and different it was from high school. I hardly knew anyone, feeling extremely out of place on campus and awkward whenever it came to meeting new people. Luckily, I took my first Asian American studies course during my first quarter and things began to change.

In that course, a student announced that the Asian Pacific Coalition at UCLA had an internship. The goal was to develop leadership and campus organizing skills. I was interested but too afraid to apply. To show you how scared I was: I looked up the internship link on my computer, stared at the browser, felt totally overwhelmed, and shut the browser without applying. I did not realize at the time how much I could grow and develop if I had stepped out of my comfort zone.

The next quarter, I signed up for an Asian American studies service-learning course which allowed me to have an internship based in Little Tokyo, the Japantown of Los Angeles, at the Little Tokyo Service Center. I was assigned to research and write a Community Heritage profile of Little Tokyo on the period after the WWII incarceration of Japanese Americans. I researched how the community’s environment and population were affected.

While working on this assignment, my supervisors were extremely helpful when it came to assisting me. I felt comfortable in the working environment, compared to how I felt at school. I wrote this in my final paper for the service-learning course. One of my supervisors read it and told me that he too was and is still a socially awkward person. He advised me that practice makes perfect when it came to social interaction and speaking up. From our conversation, I came to understand myself better but also thought about what I should do after my internship. I soon realized that I spent almost all my freshman year off the UCLA campus.

Asian Pacific Coalition GroupMy second year of UCLA began and I knew that I needed to gain more confidence in myself and become active on campus. Remember that Asian Pacific Coalition internship that I was afraid of? Well, it was announced in almost all of my courses so I stepped out of my comfort zone and applied. The interview was terrifying. I was interviewed by the student staff there; several of them were in the same classes as me and I began to think of how awkward it would be if they rejected me since I would still see them in class. However, to my surprise, I was accepted into the internship.

During the internship, we had workshops where we learned to speak up, dig further into our identities, and understand issues faced by people of color. One time, the leadership development coordinator brought in a speaker who intentionally said incorrect statements about Asian-American history and culture to see if we would speak up. Two interns kept asking questions while the rest of us just looked at one another with faces full of confusion.

Our coordinator later questioned us why only two of ten interns spoke up instead of ten. From this, I saw how important it was to speak up instead of staying silent when it comes to challenging others. This internship really allowed me to find a place on campus where I felt like I belonged. What I really enjoyed about my internship was that all the staff and interns were very welcoming to each other while creating a learning environment.

An event that allowed me to find myself was an Asian American Studies forum. Professors discussed how Asian American studies is relevant and what students can do with it. I spoke up on my experiences from Asian American studies. By sharing, I realized how important student voices are. I saw that professors were approachable and wanted feedback. College is a time for students to find themselves and their possible career field. This event allowed me to see that such climate can be created through working with staff and students. From this, I’ve decided to take on a student staff position of Academic Affairs Coordinator in the Asian Pacific Coalition during my junior year.

Internship Trust FallI feel that all colleges should work together with student groups in order to create a safe and inclusive climate so that students from all backgrounds feel comfortable on campus. College is a time for students to really find themselves and their possible career field so creating such climate would allow students to find themselves while connecting with peers.

When I first arrived at UCLA, I was a timid and awkward person who was overwhelmed by a large campus and diverse student population. I connected to college through internships and exploring different courses. I took my first Asian American studies course because it was a general education requirement but have ended up pursuing the major. I have developed a lot since high school, now able to confront uncomfortable situations and growing from them.

Jenny Huang is a junior at UCLA with a double major in Asian American studies and education. This past summer, Jenny worked as the community engagement intern for Not In Our Town.

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