Photo credit: The Great Kindness Challenge [1]

Originally published on Edutopia [2]

By Dr. Becki Cohn-Vargas, Not In Our School [3] Director

Identification of Problems of Intolerance and Bullying

The focus is on problems that result from students bullying, harassing or being exclusionary and hateful. Often, harassment is based on gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, appearance, or disability. The first step is to start with a dialogue about the particular problem. Start with a lesson on mapping bully zones [4].

Solutions Defined by Students and Peer-to-Peer Actions

Students are supported in defining the problems and solutions needed to incorporate peer-to-peer actions, make their schools safe and help bystanders gather the courage to become "upstanders." A student-led anti-bullying assembly [5] is a powerful way to encourage everyone to get involved.

Collective Voice

The entire school community unites to say Not in Our School. This could take many forms -- buttons, banners, slogans, t-shirts, pledges, assemblies and school-wide activities -- but it needs to grow out of authentic discussion and efforts to create a safe and welcoming environment for students of all backgrounds and gender identities. We've created a quick-start download [6] to help launch this effort at your school.

Many activities have been successfully implemented in schools and may be viewed in videos with lesson guides on the Not In Our School [3] website. An array of testimonials from administrators, teachers, and students are available as well.

What is the Urgency?

In three horrifying hate crimes by teens and young adults, a 21-year-old man killed nine African Americans [7] during a bible study group in Charleston, South Carolina in 2015; and high school students murdered a transgender Latina youth in Newark, California [8] in 2002, and a Latino man in Patchogue, New York [9] in 2008. As many as 20 people were involved in or stood and watched the gang rape of a 15-year-old girl outside a Richmond, California [10] high school homecoming dance in 2009. Every day, news outlets report cases of youth who are bullied because they are perceived to be gay.

Bullying can lead to serious emotional problems, multiple school absences, and higher risk factors for suicide. These incidents have raised national awareness with anti-bullying laws in all 50 states that require schools to take immediate action regarding bullying. According to a UCLA psychology study, 70.6 percent of teens have seen bullying occur in their schools. But if someone intervenes, the bullying stops within 10 seconds [11]. Additionally,research from scholars at University of California - Davis [12] found that approaches to bullying and harassment have a better chance of success if bystanders, who make up the vast majority, are the focus of efforts to shift social norms. Interestingly, students seeking to move up the social ladder engage in acts of social cruelty, erroneously believing that it will increase their status. In our PBS film Not In Our Town: Class Actions [13], middle school students take the lead in educating their peers and their teachers in a NIOS anti-bullying initiative that reached 50,000 students following two suicides of local youth in Lancaster, California.

Five Practical Ways to Stop Bullying and Intolerance

1) Recognize and Respond

Bullying and intolerance manifest as verbal, written or physical acts that harm another person.

• Educate students, parents and staff about taking bullying seriously and how to recognize it. Make an action plan to respond swiftly to incidents and daily teasing [14].

• Identify and monitor places where most bullying happens [15] (e.g., on the way to and from school, in the cafeteria, and on the school yard.)

2) Create Dialogue

Create opportunities for open dialogue with youth about bullying and intolerance. Let students lead through peer-to-peer action.

• Provide opportunities for students to share their feelings, problems or ideas.

• Get students involved in organizing anti-bullying forums where they resolve problems.

3) Encourage Bystanders to Become "Upstanders"

Upstanders are people who stand up for themselves and others.

• Model ways for young people to intervene and speak up. Practice with role-playing [16].

• Help youth develop effective phrases to reject negative comments or social media posts.

• Have older students help younger students learn to speak up [17].

4) Foster Safety and Inclusion

Foster identify safe [18] and welcoming environments that promote inclusion and acceptance, places where students feel everyone is respected and their identity is valued.

• Connect with young people and create the trust that will help them come forward if they are being bullied.

• Listen to them, pay attention and offer support when students are upset or sad.

5) Educate Your Community

Partner with others to take joint action in educating students, teachers and parents about bullying in your school and community.

• Create a coalition of elected, school and civic community leaders to sign a school-wide pledge to say No Bullying: Not In Our School/Not In Our Town.

• Sponsor a "Not In Our Schools" Week with buttons, banners, slogans, t-shirts and school-wide activities [19].

A Movement

Not in Our School as a movement and campaign is an effort that asks everyone to change the atmosphere that can lead to bullying and intolerance. Although the process can begin with these five steps, a safer climate for students does not happen overnight. It requires a sustained and collaborative effort of students, parents, educators and community members who work together to model and practice empathy, thoughtful responses and respect for different backgrounds and perspectives. It grows out of authentic discussion and efforts to create a safe and welcoming environment for students of all backgrounds and gender identities. In this lesson idea, "New Immigrants Share Their Stories [20]" students may begin to think about their own relationships in the community.

School needs to be a place where students discover their identities, and where each student feels that a unique identity is an asset to him or her -- and to the world. They need to feel emotionally comfortable in a warm and "identity safe" environment where stereotypes and stereotype threat (the fear of being judged by a negative stereotype) are addressed. Efforts to build empathy and involve students in the process of change can shift the school culture to one where offending or hurting someone else, either in person or online, is not seen as cool. The whole culture can become a warm, caring environment where bullying is much less likely to occur.