Source: CBS/AP [1]

By Peter Dankmeijer

One question I get over and over again is, “Why are the Dutch so tolerant compared with other countries?”

My answer is always the same. "I am sorry to crush that fantasy,” I say, “but the Dutch are not as tolerant as they may seem."

One of the main aspects of Dutch tolerance is that anyone can do what they want, as long as others are not bothered by it. Feeling "bothered" may range from the formal demands of Christian schools to not have to accept LGBT teachers or students in their schools, to any visibility of LGBT expressions that are not within the heterosexist norm of an individual.

In the past decade, half a dozen researchers have published reports on the situation of Dutch LGBT people, using report titles that are playing with the word "normal" or "gewoon" ("common"). These reports stress that Dutch people accept LGBT people as long as they look and behave exactly like heterosexuals and within traditional gender roles. "Homosexuals" have become mainstream as long as they adapt.

This type of skin deep tolerance can be found across the Netherlands, even in larger cities like Amsterdam, the so-called “Gay Capital” of Europe. But in more rural areas, just one hour from Amsterdam, or even in the suburbs of the larger cities, there is a more virulent phobia. The Dutch phobia usually targets gay or trans people who are visible because they differ more or less from the norm of heterosexuality. When non-conforming LGBT people try to stand up against discrimination, there are often met with little support or even reproaches.

"It is your own fault, you should not act so weird,” is the common message. “It is bad that you are discriminated against, but understandable that others are feeling provoked." So here we are back with the tolerance as long as nobody is "bothered."

We could better label this "heterosexism" than homophobia and transphobia, because it is not gays, lesbians or transsexuals in general that are excluded, but "just" the ones who do not fit into the (hetero)norm.

So where does the Dutch intolerance and their image of tolerance come from? And how can modern homophobia be combated?

Sovereign in their Own Circle

My theory about this is based on my background: I was originally trained as a history teacher, and I am still fascinated by how social, cultural and economic developments influence, and even determine, our current behaviors and feelings.

The Dutch have been a merchant nation since the 1700s. A good merchant quickly learns how to listen to customers, to (pretend to) be tolerant and agree with customers on everything in order to make the sale. However, when merchants are amongst themselves, you often hear how depreciating they can talk about their "stupid" customers.

This kind of talk is a widespread custom in the Netherlands. You will not see it only among merchants, but also among teachers. Their discussions in the staff room can be very different from their "caring" behavior in the classroom. This cultural aspect also extends to the level of organizations. On the public stage, organizations commonly operate in unison according to the famous "polder model" (traditional opponents work in consensus on key issues), but behind the curtains there may be merciless competition.

This is not always easy, and the polder model needs to be reinvented regularly to maintain "tolerance." In the 16th century, several types of radical intolerance led to a war, which somehow got entangled with rebellion against heavy taxes by the King in Spain, who officially ruled the Netherlands at the time. A key aspect of this war was how to deal with the different views and claims of Catholics, several Protestant sects, and the market interests of the emerging seven big merchant cities. After the Spanish King was ejected, the coalition of winning merchant cities decided that each religious group would be "sovereign in their own circle.” Which means in lay terms: When I don't bother you, you don't bother me.”

Even now, 300 years later, the Dutch school system has an approximately equal division of Catholic, Protestant and Public schools, all funded by the government based on their number of students. One way to socially manage feelings of irritation towards other communities was to maintain a structural disinterest to what happened in other pillars and more generally to what happens among people that are different from yourself.

Nowadays, the pillar system has largely collapsed under the pressure of global neoliberal market policies. But culturally and socially speaking, the Dutch are still tolerant at a distance.

A New Brand of Tolerance

So how do we deal with this? It is too great a task to structurally change the Dutch merchant spirit, as it is part of the cultural core identity of our country. On the contrary, as I know from experience in coaching schools on LGBT issues, it works much better to link into the core pride of a school rather than to combat the negative consequences of its modern homophobia and organized disinterest.

Dutch people are proud of their "tolerance,” even though it is skin deep. At the same time, the Dutch are confronted with severe challenges to this pride. Dutch people deeply worry about how to deal with religious and political extremism. These challenges to Dutch pride create a need to review the polder model once again and to re-create a new brand of tolerance that is capable of dealing with these issues.

It may be that these challenges and needs allow a rethinking of which basic competences and structures we need to be not only tolerant at a distance but also from nearby. Such a better understanding could be a first next step to mainstreaming a deeper level of tolerance.

Peter Dankmeijer (1957) was trained as a teacher, but works now as senior consultant on sexual diversity. He has a long history in developing and implementing sexual education, HIV- prevention, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender advocacy and consultancy for national and local authorities on these issues. Currently he is director of the GALE Foundation, which supports the Global Alliance for LGBT education [2], an international platform of about 800 educators. The GALE Foundation initiates projects that support the implementation of the right to education in schools, at the local and national levels. He is also director of EduDivers, a Dutch NGO focusing on education and sexual diversity. In the Netherlands, EduDivers [3] develops resources and implementation projects, works closely with the Dutch government and NGO’s, and trains teachers and volunteer educators.

2 April 2015, p.dankmeijer@gale.info [4]

This is part 4 in a short blog series about LGBTQ histories and experiences in different countries. Read the series introduction [5], Part 2: Singapore [6] and Part 3: Mexico. [7]